So, I know what you're thinking. "Is this really going to work, Cee?" Yeah, I think it will this time.

I've struggled with weight most of my life. When I was in the 8th grade, I was 120 pounds and still felt overweight. I wasn't. I blossomed early while the other girls were still in their 90 pound bodies. So I've struggled with feeling like the 'big girl' for as long as I can remember.

After a while, that really messes with your self-esteem. Most of the time, I never went to school events (especially not dances), and it definitely has something to do with my anxiety. Having Bipolar, I don't need any other reason to be fighting my desire to be out in the public. I have plenty already.

I've been reaching breakthroughs in therapy. Now I need to reach a breakthrough in the way I view myself. I -am- important. I -am- special. And I am worth taking care of. If so many people love me, why am I sitting back and making excuses to continue on the way I have been?

No one is going to count those calories for me. No one is going to tell me what to eat and what not to eat. I'm 32 years old and those are my decisions to make. I have a choice, and I need to start making the right choices.

My goal is 2 pounds a week. I don't think that's a horrible goal to reach for. 2 pounds a week is a good chunk of change when you calculate it for a whole year. So, I'm not looking at an end number of where I want to be. Just two pounds a week to begin with. The real interesting part is going to be seeing how the inches and clothing sizes change.